After 1 week with a new baby, I thought I’d list 10 things I did but books like What to Expect When You’re Expecting fail to mention you’ll be doing during the 1st week with a new baby. Enjoy.
It doesn’t say you will:
Receive a stream of Jehovah’s Witnesses, JV Baseball Team fundraisers, and Landscaper Solicitors ringing the doorbell, riling up the dog and waking up the kid every day because it’s Spring and you’re a target!
Spend 2 hours speaking with your Internet provider to temporarily split your 5GHZ home router spectrum band to a dual 5GHZ & 2.4GHZ spectrum band to configure the Owlet smart sock monitor which only works on a 2.4GHZ spectrum band per instructions you can only read about after buying the product.
Make as many pop culture references as possible to your wife on who the baby looks like. Among mine were Krang, Kuato, Mr. Magoo & Hans Moleman (Baby was briefly jaundiced at birth).
Be in Demo Mode where you’ll immediately start rearranging furniture, phone charger plugs, kitchen counter appliances and more to make the flow of the house more suitable for a baby. No matter how much you anticipate or plan for it.
Make a midnight run to an all-night open pharmacy to get prescriptions filled that were out of stock when everyone came home from the hospital.
Devour 10 Little Debbie’s and all the cheesecake desserts provided by the hospital during your 2 day stay.
Need to buy and install a new big screen TV in your living room because the old one in your house decided to die this week and we can’t NOT have Bluey on in the morning before school
Sign a loan agreement to refinance and lower monthly debt payments because daycare won’t be cheap for yet another one.
Have to watch out for the older siblings accidentally snapping the baby’s legs like a wishbone because they’re fighting over who plays with him next.
Wipe Trader Dog Gus “private” areas 2x a day with a medicated wipe due to a rash on his body from the Kennel visit .
What are some other things the books don’t tell you?
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